I Don't Want to Say GoodBye
by Beta Type Jakuri
Summary: When the guy she loves is about to leave Mineral Town for who knows how long, Claire must work up the courage to tell him what's in her heart, or risk not seeing him for a long time. Will she be able to tell him? Cliff/Claire


Don't Wanna Say Good-bye

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon!

A/N: Eh. . . . I sort of just got an idea for this like, a few minutes ago and decided to go with it? I don't normally just do spur of the moment stuff, but for some reason this idea feels like a good one and one that will only work if I write straight out of my head! Heh, regardless I do hope that it is enjoyable, spur of the moment or not, I still am putting time into this and I sincerely hope that this good.

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"I-I'm going have to leave town tomorrow. . . ."

I knew that my eyes were wide with shock, and horror. There is no way that they can't be after what I was just told. . . . I shook my head, trying to regain my train of thought. I swallowed, trying to urge myself to respond, but doing that was not going to be an easy task for me.

Cliff sighed sorrowfully, "Believe me Claire, I don't what to leave Mineral Town, b-but I'm running out of money and I can't stay at the Inn anymore. . . ."

"Umm, u-uh. . . .?" Were the only sounds I found myself able to form.

'Nice use of the English language Claire! You just made yourself look like a real genius!' I thought to myself.

The boy sitting in front of me looked at me with concern, I knew that he was wondering if I was okay since I had yet to manage to respond to the news he'd just told me. "C-Claire? A-Are you okay. . . ?" he asked, nervous.

Without warning, I suddenly smacked the side of my head with my hand, trying to make my brain work. At seeing me do this Cliff scooted away from me a little, evidently shocked.

I nodded, dropping my hand away from my now throbbing head. "I-I'm fine Cliff, but I don't think I heard you right. Y-You said that you were leaving tomorrow?" I finally replied.

I found myself biting my lower lip, in hopes that I _had _heard him wrong.

Disappointment smacked me right in the face when he sighed and answered, "Yes. . . ."

I gasped, "O-Oh, I-I see. . . ." I found myself laughing nervously, like a complete airheaded idiot when he said that. "A-And you don't have any other options?"

He shook his head, "No, I don't have any other choices at hand. I was looking for a job here in town, but I was never able to find one."

"So, the problem is you not having enough money?"

"Right, I'm close to being broke now, I barely have enough gold left to take the ferry back to the mainland. That's why I have to leave tomorrow."

I felt my shoulders hunch over, and sadness hit me like a ton of bricks when he told me that. It had only been about a year since we'd met. When March rolled back around, it'll have been an entire year since I gave up my life in the city for a life of hard work and farming, something I had come to love in the last few months. It made me feel like I had a purpose now, and that my life was not going to just be the same thing, day after dreadful day. When I first came here, I met Cliff totally by accident. It was my first time exploring Mineral Town on my own, and I stumbled upon the very church we were now sitting in. I didn't know that I wasn't alone in the large building, or that it wasn't abandoned or something of the like.

While I was walking down the main aisle, I didn't notice that sitting in the very front tier was Cliff, silent and thinking to himself about what direction he wanted to take in this life. He was so taciturn that I could have looked right at him, and not even realized that he was there. Carter was busy in the confessional, so he wasn't out there to greet me, or to introduce me to Cliff. But as I went to turn the corner around the front of the very first bench, my foot caught on the underside of the red carpeting and I wound up falling right on top of him. Needless to say that was the worst first impression I've ever made in my life.

But, after I apologized a million times and was not so embarrassed of myself anymore, Cliff and I actually started to talk. And as night fell, I found myself walking out of the church saying, "See ya tomorrow!" And I didn't even mean to.

But with me saying that, I decided to be true to my word and return to the church, and I did . . . day, after day, all the way up until now. Cliff became my first friend here in Mineral Town, simple as that. But now . . . he was telling me that he was leaving tomorrow?

I felt tears brimming at the very corners of my eyes. If he needed help or something, why hadn't he asked me? It's not like I'm poor anymore, I've really started to bring in the money here in the last few months.

I swallowed back a sob and tried to get my voice to work without cracking, "If you need a job I could hire you. . . ?" I suggested, hoping that he would take me up on the offer. I actually could use some help around my Ranch, and I wouldn't mind hiring him if it meant that he'd be able to stay in Mineral Town longer.

Cliff shook his head, "No Claire. I've told you before that I won't take a job from someone who's still starting out."

"Cliff, I'm not 'starting out' anymore! It's almost been a year since I moved here, and I'm not exactly poor you know!"

"I-I know, but I just wouldn't feel right about it." he answered, scratching the back of his neck.

I let out a sigh, my shoulder's dropped. 'Am I really that hard to deal with or something?'

"C-Cheer up Claire, it isn't like I'm leaving forever. Eventually I'll come back to Mineral Town."

I scoffed, "You can say that all you want to Cliff! You might mean that now, but once you settle in somewhere new, you'll just keep putting off visiting again and again, and the next thing you know, it'll have been a long time!" I sniffled, "If you weren't so stubborn about it then you could just work for me and not **have** to leave!"

He grimaced, "I already told you that I wouldn't feel right about doing that."

With that I stood to my feet, angry. "Am I really that annoying Cliff?" I questioned, "Do I annoy you so much that you want to escape from me or something?"

"Claire–!"

I didn't let him finish, "Fine! I-If I bother you that much, go ahead and leave! S-See if I care!!!"

Crying, I ran down the aisle of the church and bolted out the doors, heading home. Behind me, I heard Cliff yell for me to come back. That I wasn't annoying, and that wasn't the reason he wouldn't take a job from me. It didn't matter what he said, he was leaving tomorrow! If he'd take a job from me, he wouldn't have to leave. He might say that he wasn't going to be gone forever, but I know that whenever someone says that, they never mean it!

My Dad always used to trick me with that, he always said that he'd come and see me next weekend. . . . And come that weekend, he put off visiting me until the next weekend, and then the next until finally he just stopped calling. He never came to see me, ever! I have not seen that man since I was six, and I'll never see him again, I don't want to either. My Mom was sort of there for me, but at the same time she wasn't. She supported me financially, and made sure that I was healthy, but emotionally, she just didn't put out any effort. She never said she loved me, hugged me, or anything. . . . I guess I just don't trust easy.

So, Cliff could have promised me all he wanted, I would have never of believed him.

Anytime I loved someone, they always left me behind! My Dad . . . my so called 'friends' in High School, and now Cliff was doing the very same thing to me! . . . .course he doesn't know that I love him. I mean, what would he do if I told him? I don't think that Cliff could be in love with me, there just isn't anyway. Which is what hurts me so much. I mean, I haven't even admitted to him that I love him, and he's already leaving me! If I told him, what would happen then?

Things would only grow worse, they would, things always do!

I stopped running as soon as I got into Rose Square, my legs couldn't take the sprinting anymore. I wobbled my way over to the bench, and collapsed into it, tears still making their way down my cheeks.

"Why? Why won't he just take a job from me?" I cried, "Am I really that hard to put up with!?!"

Honestly, I know that I was crying so hard by now that my eyes must have looked like waterfalls. No exaggeration. I must have looked pathetic. Unable to hold anything back now I pulled my feet up onto the bench, and laid down in the fetal position, I continued to sob like there was no tomorrow.

It was just about then that Popuri wondered into the Square, probably on her way to the market or something. . . . The pink-haired girl spazzed out when she found me curled up on that bench, sobbing my eyes out.

With a yelp of shock she darted over to me, and shouted, "Claire?! Are you okay?! What's the matter?!"

I managed to hold back the sobs for a moment, and looked up to her, hiccuping I muttered, "Oh Popuri. . . ."

Without any hesitation she sat down next to me, and did her best to comfort me. "W-Why are you crying Claire?"

Sniffling, I sat myself back up and asked her, "A-Am I annoying?"

"What?"

"Am I hard to put up with or something Popuri?" I moved my hand up and wiped the tears away from my eyes.

"N-No! You're the opposite of annoying! Why do you think that Claire?"

I hiccuped again, "Because everyone I ever care a lot about always leaves me!!!"

She was taken aback by what I said, "Who's left you Claire?"

And with that question, everything spilled out. About my Dad, my Mom, and about the people I had thought myself to be close to in High School. I told the pink-headed girl everything without any thought to it, I didn't even know Popuri that well. The only time I really ever talked to the girl was when I bought Chicken Feed, which had not been for a while since I had made my own. I guess I just really wanted someone to talk to about everything, to tell _anyone_ the truth about the scars on my heart. I even told her about the fact that I loved Cliff, and that he was leaving town tomorrow, that he wouldn't take a job from me.

After I finished, I was sobbing again, "I just don't know what to do . . . I don't want to lose someone again Popuri. But, Cliff won't work for me, and unless he does, then he'll have to leave town! I know he said he'll come back again someday, but anytime someone doesn't have a concrete reason to go somewhere, they always put off visiting!"

Popuri sighed, "Oh, Claire I know it seems like that but . . . Cliff isn't the type to say something he doesn't mean. I'm sure he'd come visit Mineral Town as soon as he could."

"I-I know that! B-But, I just can't bring my heart to believe it!"

"Well, it does seem awfully weird that he won't work for you, I mean you're doing very well now, him working for you wouldn't be a hindrance!"

"Exactly! So why won't he take a job from me?!" I cried.

"I don't know. . . ." she muttered, "But you know something Claire, whether or not he's leaving tomorrow, I don't think that you should end things on bad terms with him. You ought to go and see Cliff tomorrow before he leaves and tell him the reasons you feel this way. . . ."

With another sniffle I looked at her unsure, "I-I can't tell him the truth. I can't tell him that I–!" I shook my head, "No I can't tell him! I'm not ready to."

I felt her set a hand on my back, "Then at least go tell him you're sorry and that you're just scared to lose a friend as good as him."

I nodded my head shakily. "I don't want to end things with him like this, I don't want my last memories of him and I being the ones where I sprinted out of the Church in tears, accusing him of thinking of me as being annoying or hard to deal with. I-I don't. . . ."

"I'm sure that everything will work out Claire, I don't know how, but the Harvest Goddess always grants good fortune to good people, like you. . . . I'm sure that she'll make sure that everything works out between you and Cliff somehow." Popuri consoled me.

At that moment, I couldn't answer the pink haired girl verbally, so I nodded instead. Tears were pouring out of my eyes too fast, and I'd started sobbing too hard to answer her. . . . No matter what I said to Cliff tomorrow; no matter how much Popuri consoled me or tried to make me feel better; the fact of the matter was that tomorrow, Cliff was going to go back to the mainland. And only the Harvest Goddess knew when I was going to see him next, for all I knew, it could be a few months, to even a few years. . . .

I sniffled again and sopped the tears on my face up with the collar of my plaid shirt. I'd done enough crying. "Popuri, thanks for talking to me, but I think I need to deal with this on my own now. . . . Besides, you were on an errand or something weren't you?" I asked, looking over at her.

Upon saying the word 'errand' a look of sick realization overtook the expression on her worried face. "Oh no! Rick is going to kill me because of how late I am!" she yelled, springing up from her seat on the bench, she turned and looked at me, "Claire I'm sorry, but I have to get home ASAP! I was suppose to be home a while back, Rick's probably frantic at this point, worrying about me too much. . . . I'll come see you tomorrow okay? I know things will work out between you and Cliff!" she yelled as she ran off toward Chicken Lil's.

A small smile worked its way up over my face as she ran off, as much of an air head as Popuri could be, and despite the bad taste she had in men, the pink head really did mean well, and she really is nice.

But with a quiet, forlorn sounding sigh, I stood to my feet, and took a glance at my watch. It was already past four. Cliff was leaving in the morning . . . when he didn't have to, why? No matter what Popuri had said, saying that everything would work out between he and I, I couldn't shake the deep doubt in my heart, that things would never, **never** be okay between the two of us.

My heart was literally aching now, aching from anxiousness, from being so nervous and from feeling as if I was being abandoned all over again, once more by someone whom I loved with my whole heart.

. . . .even if that person doesn't know that I love them.

I took in a sharp breath, trying to calm myself down, attempting to think of something that could rid me of these negative feelings. Honestly, other than drinking myself into a stupor, there really wasn't much that I could do in this backwater village that would alleviate me of my dreads.

There was no way I was going to go talk to Carter about this, I felt that I could really trust Popuri with what I had told her, but amidst the adults in town, gossip spreads like a wildfire. And I'm not risking my past becoming public knowledge.

Perhaps . . . the Harvest Goddess. I shouldn't be bothering a nature spirit with my trivial problems, but surely she could help me in someway. . . ? Offer me some words of comfort, advice or something. . . .

So be it, I would attempt to talk to the Harvest Goddess. Lucky for me, I had started to grow strawberries year-round in my green house back in the autumn, I didn't know it until I offered one, but strawberries were the Harvest Goddess's favorite thing to receive. As such, I kept a few in my rucksack at all times, just in case.

Though I wasn't sure if I could contact her at this time of day, I took off running toward the Goddess Pond, I know that the Goddess was there in the mornings, but I'd never tried to offer anything to her in the afternoon. So, I suppose what I was doing was something of a long shot, but it was the only sensible thing I could think of doing.

As I ascended the staircase that led to the Pond, I took my rucksack off of my shoulders and rummaged through it, looking for the pocket where I kept the strawberries. After I found one, I put the sack back over my shoulders, and made sure that no one was around the Pond, or in the Hot Spring before I tried to summon the Goddess. I'm not sure to how many others she appears too, or even if the Harvest Goddess shows herself to other people _but_ me. Everyone in town talks about her as if they've never seen her, and as if she is merely a myth or legend. I've seen her more times than I can count, so if I talk about her, I speak knowing that she is real. . . .

With a shaky breath I prayed silently that the Goddess would appear to me, and rid me of these feelings.

"Please, please answer me. . . ." I whispered, dropping the strawberry into the water. I waited a few moments before I sighed, disappointed. If the Harvest Goddess were going to appear to me, she would have popped up as soon as that strawberry hit the water. "I-I should have guessed that you wouldn't be here, I suppose that I'll have to figure all of this out on my own."

I turned around, and started to walk away from the pond, when I heard a familiar voice. "Whoo, that was quite the trip to get back here! I'm not used to people giving me offers so late in the day so I normally go off to another village!"

Surprised I spun back around to see that the Harvest Goddess was floating above her Pond, looking winded. "Y-You came!" I cried, happily.

She smiled, "Of course I came. I wouldn't ignore an offering of strawberries! Especially ones grown with such love and care." Without a sound she floated down and studied my face for a moment, "Now Claire, what's the problem? I know you well, and you wouldn't summon me here so late in the day unless there was something seriously wrong. There is something **very** wrong isn't there?"

I felt tears welling up behind my eyes again, but I blinked them back, "Y-Yeah something's really wrong. . . ." I answered, rubbing my eyes a bit.

"Now, now you don't have to cry Dear, just tell me what's wrong and I'll see what I can do. . . ." the Goddess said comfortingly.

"Yes ma'am." So, I explained everything to her. About my past, about Cliff, about the fact that I harbored a secret love for him, and about the fact that I couldn't shake those dark feelings from my heart, and that I didn't know what to do about Cliff, about the fact that I felt as if I was being abandoned all over again.

And like the kind spirit she was, the Harvest Goddess listened to every word I said with a caring face.

After I finished, she smiled down at me and said, "I see Claire. You fear losing another person that is important to you."

I'd wound up sobbing my sorry eyes out again while explaining everything, so before I replied I sniffled, "Pretty much. . . . The thing that really bothers me though is that Cliff wouldn't have to leave if he just took a job helping me on my farm."

"But Cliff is not the type of boy who would take help from someone to whom he is close to, so he refuses the job with some excuse, correct?" the Harvest Goddess asked me.

"Yes. I know he's stubborn b-but still. He doesn't want to leave Mineral Town tomorrow, and I don't want him to go either. I'm going to go see him tomorrow morning to apologize for what I said to him and for storming off the way I did, but I want to find a way to keep him here first."

The Harvest Goddess laughed a bit, "Well here's the thing Claire; I'm afraid that there isn't anything I can do to help you."

"Wh-what?! Nothing at all?!"

"Nope, not a thing. But that isn't because I'm powerless to help, it's because you already have what's necessary to keep him here in your heart. I don't need to intervene."

Confusion overtook me. What I needed to keep Cliff in Mineral Town . . . was already in my heart?

I opened my mouth to clarify what she'd said to me, only she spoke to me before I had the chance, "Claire, if you truly do not want to say good-bye to Cliff tomorrow, then you need to be honest with him. Tell him how you truly feel, and trust me, everything will work out perfectly between him and you."

I felt my face heat up, I knew what the Goddess was talking about, what I had to be honest about. . . . If I wanted Cliff to stay here then I had to own up to the fact that I was in love with him, and tell him.

I couldn't bring myself to reply verbally, so I nodded shakily.

"Heh, I'm not worried about either one of you. I'm not, because I know that the two of you will make things work out on your own. You two don't need any divine intervention, but that still doesn't mean that I won't be watching over you!" she said, smiling all the while.

With her words, and how reassuring her smile was, I could not help but smile myself. Though I still had negative thoughts lingering in my heart and mind, the positive ones now outweighed those. . . . I'm still scared, but I think that I now had enough courage in me to tell Cliff the truth tomorrow, I'm sure that if I did then he wouldn't leave me . . . I'm sure of it.

I said good-bye to the Harvest Goddess and thanked her gratefully, and also gave her the rest of the strawberries I had in my rucksack, and went back to Cherry Blossom Ranch for the night, it was nearing six and I needed to put away my animals for the night so they wouldn't be attacked by the wild dogs that roamed the area.

After a long bath and dinner, I curled up in bed for the night and flipped on my TV, and fell asleep watching the news.

I woke up the next morning, later than normal, I awoke at eight instead of six. Panicking because I wasn't sure at what time that Cliff was due to leave, I dressed quickly, though I managed to trip over the rug that was in the middle of my house a few times. Unlike normal days, I dressed myself in jeans and a pink T-shirt since it was way faster to get into. . . .

I bolted out of my house, telling myself that I would take care of my farm chores later on that day, my crops and animals would die if I was later than normal doing my chores! What I had to do now was more important!

I forgot my rucksack and, threw my hair up into a ponytail as I bolted down the path to Rose Square that led to the Beach and Dock, I didn't bother to comb it after waking up, there was no time.

I kept in mind what the Harvest Goddess had told me last night, she'd told me to be honest and say what was in my heart, and that things would work out for Cliff and I. If the Harvest Goddess was sure that things would be okay, then why should I have doubts?!

Okay, I still have my reservations about doing this, but it isn't like I have a choice unless I want to say good-bye to the guy I love for who knows how long!

And I'm **not** going to lose another important person in my life! Especially when I can do something to stop it.

I'm not sure how I made it down the stone steps that led to the Beach without falling down them, but I did somehow. I was winded to the point of barely being able to breathe now, but it would have seemed that I'd made in the nick of time. Cliff wasn't on the boat yet, and it was just about to set off. . . .

Standing on the dock, saying their good-byes was Carter, Doug and Ann. I was sure that Grey would have come, but his Grandpa probably had made him work despite the fact that Cliff leaving.

Cliff was waving good-bye to the small group in front of the entrance to the ship that was set to go to the Mainland when I yelled, "W-Wait!!!"

Cliff turned around to see me running as hard as I could to get to him. Surprise was written over his face at even seeing me. I bolted past Ann, Doug and Carter, forgetting that they were even there at all. I'd come here to tell Cliff the truth, and that was the only thing on my mind.

"C-Claire, you came to see me off!" Cliff shouted in surprise.

Honestly I didn't even respond to that, I didn't say anything before I pretty much just threw myself at Cliff and hugged him. I'm not sure when I had started to, but at some point I'd started crying, hard. I buried my face into his shirt, trying to stop myself from sobbing, yet that only made it all the more worse.

"Claire, p-please don't cry! T-This is good-bye this is only a 'See you later'!" Cliff tried to tell me, also wrapping his arms around me gently.

I pushed my face into his shirt deeper and cried out, "No you can't go Cliff, you can't go away!"

"Claire–!" he'd started, only to be cut off by me again.

I looked him in the eye, tears still pouring out of my eyes, "Cliff you can't leave me, you just can't!" I sniffled before I continued, "If you leave me, you'll break my heart Cliff, you know that?! If you leave now, my heart will shatter into a million little pieces!"

He looked at me with wide eyes. "W-What do you mean by that?"

"It means what it sounds like Cliff! Leaving me now will break my heart . . . because I'll be separated from the guy I'm in love with!" I shouted.

Unbeknownst to me, the little audience Cliff and I had were looking at him and me shocked by my sudden confession.

As soon as I spoke those words, Cliff's face went red. "T-The guy y-you're i-in love w-with. . .?" he studdered.

My eyes were still overflowing with tears, and I sniffled again, but I nodded. "Yes Cliff, the guy I love! You!"

"U-Uh. . . ." It seemed that I'd left the man speechless.

"That's why I don't want you to go, that's why I wanted you to take a job from me so that you could stay here with me! I love you, I've loved you for–well, I'm not sure how long, but I do know that I love you right now!"

Cliff was red faced, and still without any words . . . and I was quietly waiting for him to say something back to me.

Only a few moments later that silence was broken by Ann when she yelled, "Well Cliff?! Are you going to tell Claire that you love her too and take a job from her so that you can stay here in Mineral Town or not?!"

"W-Wait! B-But I couldn't j-just–! I-I mean. . . ." he started.

"Oh come on Cliff, everyone in town knows that you love Claire, but are too scared to say so! Well, you know that she loves you, so just tell her and live happily ever after, or whatever!" Ann ordered.

I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing at what Ann was telling him to do.

"Ah . . . C-Claire, y-you love m-me. . . ?" Cliff asked me quietly.

Again, I sniffled, "Yes. I do, I love you."

Nervously Cliff whispered to me, "I love you too. . . ."

"It's about time you two got together!" Ann yelled at the two of us.

I merely smiled at that and I again pressed my face into his shirt, I was happy, so happy that I'd done what the Harvest Goddess had said. She was right. All I had to do was be honest, and say what was in my heart and things had worked out.

"Oh, and by the way Cliff, you start your new job tomorrow." I said that almost monotone, with a joking smile on my face.

"R-Right!" Cliff half yelled, nervous.

"And . . . you'd better be on time, and do a good job, because I hear that your new boss is quite the hard case." I winked.

"Heh, that's what I've heard too." he teased.

"Oh come now, you know that you love me!" I shouted joyfully. I don't know what lies in the future for Cliff and I, but I do now know for sure that he and I are in love, and that somehow, just like the Harvest Goddess had said, the two of us would make everything work out in the end.

"Hey Cliff, Claire this is the part of the story where you're suppose to kiss!" Ann shouted, forgetting about the fact that her father and that Pastor Carter was there. . . .

"Ah–! Ann!" Cliff yelled.

"Oh whatever." I smiled, and I stood on my tip toes and kissed Cliff on the cheek, much to his embarrassment.

Yeah . . . the two of us are going to be okay from here on out.

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-The End

A/N: Well that's all she wrote people. :) How was it, was it good? I hope so I put quite a bit of work into this, even if I did write it out of my head. . . . Please review and let me know what you thought.

-Crimson Fallen Angel


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